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Christmas in October?

October, 2006 marked my favorite costume making holiday ever. Jacob was 3 and Ben had just turned 1. Jake was finally old enough to banter ideas back and forth with me regarding his costume, and for some (truly) unknown reason, he decided it might be fun to dress as a snowman for Halloween. (?What? My thoughts, too....) 

So... I started searching online for some kind of snowman costume, and pretty much found nothing, as I had expected. I sat down with Jacob and we drew pictures of what the important elements of a snowman really were. By the time we were finished drawing, Jacob had a clear description of what type of snowman he would like to be. Snowmen were to be composed of three 'snow' balls each one smaller than the last and stacked vertically. Snowmen needed to have a vest, a scarf and three black buttons on the front. (Not four or two. This was important to him.) That was it. No corn cob pipe required, no magic top hot, no real preference on color.... just those things. How on Earth was I going to do that? It was time to get creative.

And, creative, we got! I decided that I wanted to keep the project simple, so I reverted back to some old techniques of crafting, known as paper mache, which I picked up somewhere along the way in grade school as most children do. Ryan and I spent time looking at different playground balls, and we finally found 3 that were appropriate sizes in proportion to each other, and in proportion to his body so he could actually fit in them. Once we found them (all but one in our collection already), I set Jake to work using his new safety scissors to shred old newspapers. I suspect he was more excited about the newspaper shredding than he was about the costume itself. After he enough shredded newspaper (and a lot of excess, actually, as it turns out that he was really good at that) Ryan made us a flour and water glue concoction and we began to paper mache the playground balls. I expected that Jake would like this, but, in fact, he hates getting his hands dirty so he mostly jumped around excitedly while I applied the pasted papers to the balls.

After the paper had dried to the balls, we deflated the balls and carefully cut them out of their paper shells. Then, we cut specific holes in them to allow Jake to get into them, and painted them white. While they had been drying, we searched GoodWill and other thrift stores and located a coordinating vest, scarf, hat (my idea, not Jake's) and gloves. We made three felt buttons for the front, and bought the smallest pair of suspenders we could find. At the same time, I had found a small Santa Claus themed sleeper, and I thought that would be a fitting costume for Ben, who was too young to protest. I figured a Santa Claus would compliment a snowman perfectly. We returned home and tried out the suspender system I had worked out in my head. It was a perfect fit. And the added bonus I hadn't expected was that the bottom of the snowman swayed adorably with each step Jake took.

We completed the look of the snowman by applying a spray adhesive all over each ball, and then by dumping a bunch of small foam balls (intended for filling bean bag animals and the like) which looked like snow. The balls got all over everything, but they kept the appearance of snow and ended up working out very well. They also kept our Dyson busy long into November, but they were well worth it.

When the big day came, we carefully got Jake into his costume and adorned him with the accessories we had found. (And we prayed and prayed it wouldn't rain. Rain would've destroyed the entire costume.) He looked pretty adorable, and he was just as pleased as I was to say that we had made this costume ourselves.

Then we slid Benjamin into his Santa Sleeper. In those days, he had just learned to walk and he was pretty content with everything around him, so as trick-or-treating involved walking, this was no exception.

It was a blustery trick-or-treating time, so I was quite happy that Jacob had picked costumes that I could bundle them in multiple layers under. We got more compliments than I could count as we walked up and down the block. My only regret that year was that I hadn't thought to enter them into a costume contest, because I think they'd have had a very good chance at winning. What a clever idea Jacob the Snowman had!

Mr. Bone Jangles and Ninja Turtle

Now, where were we? Ah yes.... the story of Jake's third Halloween, which coincidentally happened to be Ben's very first Halloween. Ben was a mere 6 weeks old. I was at the very end of my maternity leave with him and somewhat broke as I had missed 6 whole weeks of working overtime. I was sleep deprived as all mothers of newborns are, and more so, I had a 2 and a half year old who was having frequent meltdowns trying to get used to his new little brother. I was stressed and I was certainly not feeling creative enough to come up with a great costume. Even MORE SO, I was constantly annoyed by Jake's favorite toy, a Halloween decoration called Mr. Bone Jangles. This decoration was a plastic skeleton which hung over the top of a door, and when you made noise or pushed the red button cleverly hidden in his nasal cavities, he wiggled back and forth and sang a terrible Halloween song. It seemed the only thing that would comfort Jake when he was upset that his brother still lived in our house was pushing that   @#%**% button 3,000 times consecutively. This was the time in Jake's life when he was the most profoundly autistic, and it was evident by the fact that he was the only 2 year old that could concentrate on one toy for more than a few moments, let alone for hours on end. We'd try to hide the toy from Jake, but he would stand at the stairway where the toy belonged and cry (for hours) until we put it back. There was no redirecting this child. And when we'd finally put Mr. Bone Jangles back in place, Jake would push the nose button until the batteries died. (Literally. Every other day we went through a pack of batteries on this silly toy.) I begged Jake to consider a different toy, but the only way I could get him to change up his routine was to get him to allow me to switch the door frame that Mr. Bone Jangles would hang from for the day. 

And, given his fascination towards strange skeletons, it came as no surprise that Jacob squealed with delight when he saw the skeleton costume at Target. It wasn't anything I would've picked out... but Jacob clearly knew what he had wanted. This particular skeleton costume had green "glow in the dark" bones, though Jake had no intention of showing it off during the night. It was a full body jumpsuit, including boot covers, a mask and gloves. In this costume, Jake could become Mr. Bone Jangles, head to toe. I had very little energy left in me to discuss the other costume options, and having so few ideas myself, I decided that it would be acceptable this one time to buy a pre-made costume. I asked Jake to pick out a costume for Ben. At first, Jake ignored me. (Ben who?) After urging him to look through costumes, he decided that Ben also needed to be Mr. Bone Jangles. 

We searched the costume racks, but there was not single skeleton costume for a 6 week old to be found. I had decided to just put Benjamin in Jacob's pumpkin costume and call it a day, when Jake spotted the "Ninja Turtles" costume. In reality, the costume had nothing to do with the TMNT heroes in a half shell (aka, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) but I was relieved that Jacob had finally found something about Ben to be useful, so I bought the costume and headed home. 

When I inspected the costume at home, I realized the turtle costume was really rather sweet. It was essentially a green sleeper with a brown hood and a cute little shell pillow on back. it sipped up, and though it was a little big on Benjamin, it did look rather sweet on him. So, I bundled the costumes up and put them away until the big day came. (Which, if I remember correctly, was less than a week away.)

On Halloween day, Jacob got ready for his trick or treating early in the afternoon. He had fought to get out of his naptime, but in return he had to watch a Noggin (children's programming channel) instead of playing with Mr. Bone Jangles. As the program ended, I started dressing Jacob up as Mr. Bone Jangles. Initially, he was very excited. Once he immediately ripped his mask off, (which he never did put back on) he was contented watching his own body move inside of the skeleton costume. Then, I dressed Ben in his "Ninja Turtle" costume and brought him into the living room. Ben did not protest at all, and he seemed really excited also. (And by this statement, I mean that he continued sleeping soundly the entire time. Those were the days....) Jake seemed equally as excited about his brother's costume.

I urged Jake to follow me outdoors and to go trick-or-treating. He refused. I dragged Jacob outside with the promise of candy, and he hit up two houses and was very upset that people talked to him when he stood in front of their doors. (How dare they! Didn't they know that he had no interest in socializing yet? Geez, people!) Finally, his will won over my desire for him to enjoy the holiday I had come to love so much, and we headed back to the house. Jake was clearly exhausted from missing his nap, and so he laid right down on the couch, even before he could look into eating his candy. I placed Ben next to him, and for a nice change of pace, in stead of objecting, Jacob cuddled him closely and they took a mutual nap. (Under my watchful eye... I'm not that negligent. I promise.) Watching the two of them cuddled together, quietly, was the highlight of my day. It certainly was not what I had in mind for a Hauntingly Happy Halloween, but it was happy nonetheless. I could not have asked for a better memory.

The Mighty Lion- Joey Harrington Bobblehead (a quickie story today).

As I sit here and watch Jake agonize over whether he is routing for the Detroit Lions or the Green Bay Packers, I am reminded that there was a time I had decided this for him. Given today's big game at Lambeau Field, and Jake's interesting decision to be Aaron Rodgers (GB Packers QB) for Halloween, this makes the story of Jacob's 2nd Halloween all the more interesting. 

Jacob's 2nd Halloween was the year 2004, if I'm doing my math correctly. He still wasn't old enough to make his own decision as to what he wanted to be for Halloween, and anticipating it might be my last chance to dress him in Michigan teams as opposed to green and gold that everyone in our area wears, I decided he would be a Detroit Lion. And at that time, the Lion's QB was a promising young Joey Harrington. (No idea what happened to him in real life... I assure you he did not work out as I had been promised...I think this was my flaw in the Lion's planning. I should've had him be Jason Hanson. Hanson ROCKS!)

Jake's uniform consisted of a Harrington Jersey, a pair of cute gray jogging pants, and was completed with a Lion's helmet which was far too big, giving him the appearance of being a bobble head for the 3.7 seconds he'd leave it on his head. (He took it off so fast I could never get a picture of him with it on!) I dressed Jake in multiple layers underneath his costume, further giving him a buff and muscular appearance like a real football player. Jake toddled from house to house around the block, collecting candy from the reluctant cheeseheads, who all had something or another to say about him being out of place in the neighborhood. (All in good fun, believe me.) Jacob visited only a few houses before the thrill of treat or treating had wore off, and so we spent the rest of the night at home quietly enjoying regular family life.

Jake being a Lion was one of the cutest costumes I remember him wearing, (which... I might say about all of them, sorry....) but otherwise at that time was not particularly notable. Now this year, Jake is considering the same costume, but he's playing for the other team. Who would've thought that a day that was seemingly so insignificant would become so controversial and exciting out of no where? How exciting to watch my little bobblehead growing up! 

The Cutest Little Pumpkin in the Patch, and the Scariest Halloween EVER!

It's Saturday in the Robertson household, and so... I know what you're thinking. You're expecting a run down on the days soccer games and events, but... alas, Benjamin did not want to play today (because it was "too cold for his breathe") and so... I agreed to cover Ryan's shift at the disc golf shop and hang out with Ben, while Ryan and Jake hopefully lead the Wizards to a great game. Though I will be relentlessly bothering Ryan for details of the game, I am currently sitting in the shop, working on my blog between customers. And so,  as promised, I have some free time to recap some of my favorite Halloween experiences with the boys  throughout this month. I think starting at the beginning is just as good a place to start as any so.... Join me in thinking all the way back to Halloween, 2003. It was a simpler time then, as I had only one child to chase after, and really, he could only crawl so fast. The economy hadn't taken such a sharp downturn as of yet, and at that time in my life, I was working tons of overtime, so I had a little extra money to put towards a costume, even if little Jacob was too young to be trick or treating. I had my mind set on a bumble bee costume of some sort for him, because even though Jacob was not able to speak enough to sing along, he found himself at his happiest when listening to Laurie Berkner's "Bumble (Buzz Buzz)" song. Knowing that it was one of the earliest preferences he had ever shown towards any entertainment, I thought this would be a fun thing to dress him as.

I searched local stores and the internet trying to find a great costume at a reasonable price. Luckily, my search didn't last too long or take too much time. In fact, my search abruptly ended when my mother brought over a pumpkin sleeper/costume she had found while she was out and about. She kept reassuring me that I didn't have to use it, she just thought she'd grab it for me, and it was a great deal, and this and that.... but the truth is, there's no way I couldn't have used it. The moment I saw the cute little hat attached, I knew Jacob's first Halloween should be a classic one, and there was no cuter costume than the one I had right before me.

This costume was a cute little orange sleeper, essentially, painted to resemble the traditional Jack O' Lantern, classic but not scary, and very appropriate for a newly mobile infant. The neck line of the sleeper was accented with a cute green leafy appearing cotton, giving the effect of pumpkin leaves, and the whole ensemble was complete with an orange and cap, adorned with a small stem. It was darling, and it was made bearing in mind the age of the child who would be wearing it, so the costume was cute and comfortable for Jacob to move around in.

We live in a really friendly neighborhood, and so I had considered taking Jacob to a few houses just to say hello on this particular Halloween, (in other words, show off how darn cute he was in his new pumpkin get up), but the weather was chilly, and Jake was starting to spark a fever. Instead of visiting the surrounding neighbors, Jacob and I sat at our front door, on his special soft crawling mats (to absorb the hard wood floors that he refused to crawl on) and awaited the children to come and visit. I had a big plastic container full of various treats nearby, and Jake and I would hand them out to the eager ghosts, ghouls, princesses and cowboys that would show up at our door. Jake also found it amusing to empty the entire treat bucket all over the floor and refill it frequently, but eventually, he just gave into the fever that he was getting and became very lethargic. By the time the trick or treating hours came to a close, Jacob had a full on high grade fever. After a few doses of ibuprofen and acetaminophen (Tylenol) to no avail, our night came to a close in the emergency room. At least I got to show Jacob off to my friends, as these were the most common people for me to hang out with while I was working all those aforementioned call hours... (And I'm quite sure that they were taken with him because he looked so darned adorable, not because they were the people I hung out with regularly when I was working all that overtime...I'm also not at all biased. What mother would be?)

It was a good thing that I had made such good friends with the nurses, doctors and support staff in our ER, because I was a complete mess with Jacob's fever being so high. For the first time in my life, I knew the terror of having something so precious that it would ruin you to lose it, and that fear was almost paralyzing for me. The emergency room staff was so fantastic that they calmed me down, reduced his fever somewhat and sent me home with a list of symptoms to watch for and a number to call if anything new arose.

After four days of high fevers and lethargy, Jacob's fever broke, and I felt a sigh of relief, until I changed his diaper. Almost as instantly as the fever receded, his skin gave way to a spotty red rash all over his body. Again, terrified, I called his pediatrician, thinking for certain there we were bound to be heading back to visit my friends working at the ER any moment.  As it turned out, my pediatrician was relieved that the spots had shown up, as at that point the most likely diagnosis was that of Roseola, which was common mostly benign childhood illness. Just as he reassured, Jacob got back his energy back and his spots faded, and life returned to normal.

I learned from this experience that there is no ghost, no goblin and no gore so terrifying as the innocence and vulnerability of your favorite person at your fingertips.It was also a subtle reminder to cherish the little things like pumpkin costumes and spilled candy while you can, because no thing aspect of life is guaranteed and beyond resilience.  But, now having a healthy 2nd grader to play with, it's easy to look back fondly and remember my cute little boy, sweetening up Halloween for the the city around us. He was most certainly the cutest little pumpkin in the patch!

You want to be WHAT for Halloween!?!

Halloween is, and has always been one of my favorite days of the year. I love whimsy and play, so I have always seen it as a great opportunity to be someone or something different for a day. My love for Halloween intensified immensely when I had children. My mother picked out my first costume for Jake, and he went as the ever classic pumpkin. I assure you, he was the cutest pumpkin in the whole patch. The following year, I decided to "cheese off" (yes, every pun intended there... tee hee) my Packer fan neighbors, and dress Jake as the Detroit Lions QB, Joey Harrington. He looked so tough, being a mighty Lion and all.....

After that year, I allowed Jake to consider what costume he'd like, and pick his brother's costumes also. He always picked unique and interesting things, and so I was always challenged to create these costumes from bits and pieces of other things, rather than buy the stock shelf costumes that every other child in the neighborhood had. This has always been an interesting challenge, and I hope to detail the making of each costume throughout the month of Halloween for your viewing pleasure. However, today's blog will be more focused on preparing for Halloween this year.

Sadly... I fear that Jake might be outgrowing the Halloween concept. Though I never will outgrow it, apparently, Jake seems to be avoiding the whole subject all together. I started asking Jake, as I do every year, to start considering what he'd like to be. No answer. I asked again and started making suggestions. Eventually,  he made mention that maybe he'd like to be an "Army guy" if he had to. Interestingly, Ryan and I had just discussed how he (Ryan) is no longer draft age eligible, and how that's a scary thought, as most of the men being sent off to war are actually younger than he (Ryan) is... And Ryan feels as though his life has just really got started. So, my thoughts went right to that conversation, and my heart sank a bit, thinking that although I know it's not plausible, I'd really prefer that eventually wars be fought with relentless compromise rather and good faith, as opposed to disposing of generations of young men who are brave and amazing and full of a peaceful potential.  (Don't get me wrong. I support the troops. I am proud to be American and I know that these men and women are brave enough to lay their lives on the line for me to enjoy my freedoms, like this opinion, and for that I am very thankful. I am just hopeful, I suppose, that one day we can learn to live without violence.) 

Obviously, Jake's request was not hoping to stomp off to war, but really to emulate one of his favorite video games, as well as to be dressed up as a proud, brave man would be. I could appreciate that. In fact, I do remember having a crush on a boy in kindergarten that I used to call "G.I. Joe boy" because he wore camo pants, and I thought for sure he'd grow up to be a solider. (I was wrong, but he's on my facebook these days, and my, oh my, could I pick 'em. He's still a cutie! And a great guy, to boot!) This idea got me back into the mind frame of how fun Halloween should be, and so I got to work thinking. I had found some dog tags that Jake had been given with his name on them, and put them aside. I made plans to hit up GoodWill and other fantastic thrift stores for costume ideas....

But before I could get too far, Jake had changed his mind. Instead, he wanted to be Brett Favre. Ugh. Imagine my pain now! My little boy, born in Saginaw, Michigan and raised to be a Lions fan was turning on me! AND, not only did he want to be Brett, he wanted very specifically to be Brett Favre wearing a GREEN BAY PACKERS jersey! Was he crazy? First of all, Brett is getting old. Second, frankly, I think he pronounces his last name incorrectly. (Pot calling the kettle black here I suppose, as I'm pretty sure my family mispronounces my maiden name.) Third, Brett is playing for Minnesota now, and I'm pretty sure he broke enough green and gold hearts that Jake would never get candy dressed as Brett.

I begged and pleaded with the boy. Be a Lion. Be Jason Hanson, because that number 4 is the best kicker in the league. (Um, my opinion here, no actual facts to back that up. Just seems he never misses...) Be Brett playing for any other team. Be any other Packer player! Be Aaron Rogers. That kid seems to have it together and I hope that he'll have a promising career with Green Bay, just as Brett did. But, no.... Jake wasn't into Aaron. So, I suggested maybe he be silly, like Al Harris, with dreads and all. No-go. I suggested Brett then, with a cane or a wheelchair and grey hair, to indicate his age, and Jake laughed... but never agreed.

Later, he asked his dad if he could go trick or treating with out a costume. He confided he wasn't really interested in dressing up, he just wanted to get candy. (Sniff, sniff...sob) Ryan apparently told him that he did not actually have to dress up, but most people would not want to give him candy if he didn't.

When he gets home today, I'll probably tell him that I'll buy him a bag of candy if he really feels he's too big to dress up anymore, and he can be my official "sit on the porch and hand candy out to little kids" helper. I'll also tell him if he has second thoughts, he can dress as anything he'd like to be, but he needs to make a decision quickly so we can find a costume. Meanwhile, I'll just have to focus on dressing Benjamin, who is still filled with wonder and fancy and excited to be dressed up....

Don't cry, Brett. I was teasing. I do think you play with a lot of heart, and you are a fantastic QB. I'm glad Jake can recognize talent when he sees it...

Adventures in the Land of Facebook............and Grandma Syndrome

Jake and Ben were blessed with the good fortune of having not one, but two of their grandmas travel out from Michigan this weekend to stay with them while Ryan and I were out of town for a wedding. (In fact, one grandma brought out a favorite friend, so they were triply spoiled!) While Ryan and I had fun celebrating our friend's marriage and the anniversary of our own, our children were getting lavished in attention from every direction. The grandma's made them special foods, got them treats, took them shopping and to the children's museum... They were even pampered with special Lightening McQueen bubble bath and entertained with Wii tennis and bowling teams. In retrospect, the grandmas coming out to visit in this manner is probably the equivalent of us mothers going in for spa treatments at a swanky hotel/resort. Suffice it to say, they thoroughly enjoyed their trip. Once the grandma's are home and the pictures are all developed, I may invite each grandma to be a guest blogger and give us an account of their special times together!

I sent the kids off to school as the grandmas were getting into their car and heading towards the mitten. (For those of you who aren't familiar, Michigan is shaped like a mitten. Ask a person from Michigan to show you where they live. They will immediately pull up their hand and start pointing. It's quite amusing.) I figured that the boys might have a little more issue than normal behaving, as often times, they like to acquire "grandma syndrome", which all mothers who have long distance parents seem to be all too aware of. First, I picked up Ben from school. He was calm and quiet, and I could tell he was pooped out from his weekend, but to the contrary of my predictions, he was also quite well behaved. We headed over to pick up Jake. Now, generally, Jake is my more rambunctious child, and so I figured he would be the catalyst that got the boys overstimulated, furthering their bout of "grandma syndrome".  And, just as I had predicted, Jake was super excited. He jumped in the car and started babbling...

Once I settled my mind into listening to him, I was surprised and amazed to hear that he was all riled up about his spelling test results. On Thursday, Jake had tantrum after tantrum not wanting to do his homework. (He was tired, the grandma's had just arrived, and all he could think about was playing with them...) So, after Jake and I went round and round about his homework, his grandma's took over and helped him study. Their efforts had paid off. Jake received his best ever spelling test results, which were a 48/50 possible points. He was ecstatic. His teacher had actually wrote "good work!" on the top of his paper.

When I got home, I braced myself once more for the onset of grandmaitis... but none came. Jake quickly got to work study his new spelling words for the week, and Benjamin asked if he could take a bath with his new bubbles and toys. I got them started on their requests, and began to put away the mountains of clothes that were cleaned, folded and stacked neatly in my absence. (Seriously, much better work than I do myself.) Then, I set to work looking through all the new groceries that had made their way into my cupboards and refrigerator, until I found some acceptable after school snacks. (Believe me, I had tons of things to chose from.)

The only bone of contention that arose throughout the whole evening was that Jake wanted to get onto his grandmother's facebook page and care for her aquarium application and his other grandmother's farm for them. I didn't think it would be appropriate to allow Jake to do this, even if he did know her password. I explained to him that it is inappropriate to log into other people's emails, facebooks or read their private diaries. (Though by the time he's old enough to keep a diary, no one will know what that is, since we all blog these days instead...) He was disappointed because he thought this would be the best way to show off to his grandmas that he did indeed think of them when they weren't around. 

I sat and pondered that thought, along with the idea that he had done so well on his spelling test... and it occurred to me that I really had nothing useful to do, since the grandma's had done all my chores for me. So, I decided to allow Jake to have a facebook page. We worked together to set him up an email account and then a facebook log in. I quickly friended my own account with his, and set to work friend suggesting all of my family (that can keep their facebook status's PG enough...) that I could suggest in one swoop. (If you're reading this, and you're family/friends that would like to be on his page, drop me a line in the comments. I will review your application and we'll go from there, lol!) 

Jake set straight to work on his applications that he had been helping his grandma's with. Very quickly, the friend requests and acceptances started rolling in. He face lit up as he saw each person accepting. Each time facebook would notify him of a new post on his wall, he would get extremely excited, and read them aloud. He quickly learned to comment back on posts, though his typing skills are slow and he only types small words because of that. Ryan taught him how to use emoticons, and that was probably his favorite part of the day. He practiced chatting with his Grandma Goo for a bit, and he was excited to see Aunt Judy had typed on his wall. Specifically, he thought it was funny that Aunt Judy had let her infant grandson push random keys, and then she noted it was Hayden saying "hello". Jake was most impressed that in the middle of gibber, Hayden had spelled the word "in" correctly.He's a crazy smart infant. After a while, Jake had a little frustration with typing, so at one point, I decided to take over. I decided from this point on, if I am typing on his behalf, I will type (mom's typing) in the statement so that everyone is aware. Otherwise, I look forward to watching his spelling and typing skills improve as he learns. 

I think this new facebook page and email will serve as a good way for me to monitor Jake (since he uses my computer) and to help him learn how to better his speech, typing and spelling skills. There's also a great element of social learning involved. I think this will open up the doors for necessary conversations about age appropriate behaviors and internet predators, which unfortunately are a real issue for his generation. It is my hope that if Ryan and I do a good job of interacting with him and helping him, we will teach him good internet habits and make the internet become the positive communication experience that it has the potential to be. 

Meanwhile, I need to send a big thank you out there to Grandma Linda, Grandma Goo and friend Shirley, because this was the most productive case of "Grandma Syndrome" that my children have ever had.  Thanks ladies!!!

Easy On the Swears, Kid.

So....up to this point in his life, Jake (my 7 year old) has been extremely obedient. Jake is extremely mindful of rules, and verges on tattle-tailing as he calls each and every member of my house out on any infraction he can witness, (and this does include myself, my husband and our two cats and his brother, just so you know.) Now, don't get  me wrong, I find his honesty completely refreshing in a world of tiny white lies and seemingly innocently forgotten details. And really, Jake will do his best to push his limits within the rules. He will refuse to go to bed until he has watched a television program and then the corresponding commercials until he has squeezed every last minute out of his allowed awake time of a day. And on the rare occasion he does break the laid out rules, he usually volunteers the truth about what he has done, he always apologizes and he works his hardest to deter whatever consequence he is about to incur. (Generally, this means that he makes his little brother the happiest little dude in the world, in return for winning back his video gaming privilege.) 

Interestingly, Jake even does a nice job following rules that we have not specifically laid down. Specifically, Jake knows that he is not allowed to "swear", even though we have never specifically discussed which words would qualify as "swear" words. We have made no formal list of words that are offensive. We have laid out that hurtful words, such as "I hate you.", "You're stupid!" or "Shut up!" are completely unacceptable in this household. But truth be told, I have very little desire to police the actual words which roll off of his tongue. I am more interested in the intentions of his words.

The first real confrontation we've had about using appropriate words took place when Jake was in Kindergarten. (Other than using 'bathroom words' outside of the bathroom, but really... if you have a husband, 2 sons and 2 male cats, you should probably just get used to the idea that "poop" and "balls" are going to be tossed around frequently and just try to let it make you giggle. This is a fight you just aren't going to win.) Jake's teacher had pulled me aside to discuss his inappropriate classroom language. Apparently, his class was making cardboard instruments and forming a rockband (The Flame Rockband, I believe) as part of a class project. Jake and his friend Mylie were to be the lead singers... and he told Mylie, while dancing mind you, to "shake [her] booty." I failed to see how this was an issue. Clearly  my (at that time) 5 year old had no sexual implications, because he hadn't even asked me to define the difference between a boy and girl at that point. (See previous blog for that fantastic experience...http://sunmoonbrothers.blogspot.com/2010/07/keep-your-birds-out-of-my-bees-knees.html) Apparently though, referring to one's booty rather than their "bottom" was not appropriate in a Kindergarten setting. I somehow doubt he literally wanted her to wave her derrière, but I did ask Jake to please not say things his teacher has asked him not to say. He agreed and we went on our way.

Again, Jake's teacher called me to school that year, regarding Jake's inappropriate language. This time, Jake had been recreating a Lego Batman game that many of his friends were playing. (Weird, I know, but they all seem to do it....) He was playing the role of the Joker, who had "the kiss of death" power, and he would have to kiss all the penguins so they would die and he would advance to the next level of the game. (Again, I know.   But he seriously had 8 or so friends all playing right along, so....) And again, I failed to understand completely what the problem here really was.

"So, Jake was killing penguins and that is inappropriate?"
No, that was fine.

"So, Jake was the villain and that was not tolerable?"
No, every story needs a villain. That was fine also.

"Recess isn't video game time?"
Oh, no, apparently every child plays pretend video games outside.

"Okay, help me out here... I'm out of ideas..."

It was explained to me that Jake was pretending to KISS someone or something, which could potentiate a situation where children would begin kissing, which could lead to other topics of conversation. As I sat there in complete disbelief, Jake busts out with: "So, if kissing is a bad word, then is marriage the worst word EVER!" Once I regained the ability to breath without laughing so hard I snorted, I explained to his teacher, as politely as I could that my definition of swear words were words used with the intent to be vulgar or the intent to hurt someone. Even the most sophisticated words, if spoken with malice are not acceptable to me. Likewise, I do not think that slipping the occasional profanity can be all that damaging unless the words were pointed to be mean. (Though I do think that there are more intelligent ways of saying what you mean, for certain.) Having said all this, though, it is important to me that Jake makes attempts to follow rules, despite this difference of opinion, and I asked Jake again not to continue kissing imaginary penguins.

But recently, Jake has started to slide a little profanity into his vocabulary. He has on occasion asked me, "Mom, may I say something inappropriate?" To which I would give him a cautionary look and tell him to proceed. And generally, his next sentence will sound something along these lines: "So, at school, Bob said @$$. And I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to repeat the word @$$ because @$$ is a bad word I know you wouldn't want me to say @$$. @$$!!!" Then he will try to justify that he had asked permission to say it, and I will try to remind him he slipped the word in 5 or so times unnecessarily...

And any other random chance Jake can find, he will work profanity into his vocabulary legally. Some friends of mine own a video gaming business and have released some video games. Among the more notable things they have accomplished, they created the video game to compliment the Hollywood movie, "KickAss". Being supportive of our friends, we downloaded this game onto our PS3. When Jake took notice of the download, he immediately rushed to me to make sure I knew that Dad had downloaded "KICKASS" and so he had to say the word "KICKASS" out loud. Each and every time he is selecting a game to play, he will be sure to mention his favorite game which he is not allowed to play. But he knows that I will tolerate this because he is being clever in his verbiage. It reminds me of how a person might wait all day long to say a word they learned from a "Word-a-day" Calender just so they could slip it in a sentence. It's very amusing.

So now I am trying to be ever vigilant in allowing Jake to speak freely, and I just keep reminding him to be easy on the swears...

Ninja Sit and Tickle

Sometimes when I get home from work, and I don't have much time to play with the kids, I have to improvise on playtime. Let's say I have 20 minutes until I have to leave for derby practice... I could divide that time into two 10 minute periods and let each kid pick something to do. Ben might want to try to build an elaborate train track in that time, and Jake is likely to say that he'd like to play mini shin hockey in his room with me. Neither of those two activities tend to be rewarding in a 10 minute spot. Of course, I could never convince both children to do the same activity at the same time, regardless of what it is. So, I usually chose just to rough house with both of them for the full 20 minutes.

The key to a successful playtime is usually somewhere within my initial move. I usually try to create a clever diversion, and then employ some sort of stealth tripping move while one or the other kiddo is off guard. It might play out something like this:

"Benjamin, you haven't given me a single kiss today! I need a kiss right here!" (And then I point to a silly place on my forehead or on my ear.) Ben will look at me confused and try to kiss my forehead, which I will then begin to move around so he can't quite kiss it.....

"Ben! I need a kiss on my forehead, right HERE!" and show him yet again where his mark is. Just as he's concentrating on zeroing in, I hold a bit more still, allowing him to really think he's going to get the mark. Just as his lips near my wrinkles in training, I sneak my arm out and wrap it around his waist, while I jet my head to the side and start tickling his neck with my other hand.

Once he's done giggling, this will start an all out war. If either boy sees the other one being tickled, they will, in most cases rush to their aid. This works to my advantage. Ben is still small enough that I can pick him up and throw him onto the couch.  IF I throw him on his belly sort of sideways (gently, mind you) then he will be subdued long enough for me to throw my hands into a ninja stance and distract Jake with moving them. Imagine any scene from a kung fu movie, and you'll have a vague idea of how I'm playing.

Jake and I exchange jabs until he eventually gets close enough to wrestle me down, and then I will usually start using my surroundings as weapons. I particularly love to grab pillows, which I usually start bashing into him. After I've hit him enough times to stun him, I usually give a weak sign and allow Jake to steal the pillow from me. As he winds up to hit me with it, I will duck, tackle him and put him in my trademark hold, the "Ninja Sit and Tickle." (Imagine this in my very best dubbed over sounding Chinese accent.) This move involves me sitting on the child, holding his arms down with my knees and tickling him relentlessly, or until he says I'm the best mom ever. (Or any other random thing I command he says.)

Usually Ben will join in the action and I will have to deal with both of them, giving Jake a reprieve to catch his breathe and exciting Benjamin all the more. This type of play can usually continue for hours, or until I have to go to work, or until I accidentally tickle either of the boys too hard. But truth be told, I love to rough house with the boys. It's a nice mix of being creative and fun, physical and cuddly, somehow. I just need to start planning a little ahead, because I'm pretty sure that now that they are learning to combine forces, I'll soon be outnumbered. And I do so hate to be tickled.....

The more similar they look, the more different they act!

 I coined the title of my blog after the idea that my boys seem similar, but are as different as the sun and the moon. At yesterday's soccer game, I got a very loud reminder of how different they really are. Ryan had a disc golf tournament he had confirmed he would go to before he had got the soccer schedule, so I had brought along a new babysitter (Justine) to help guide the kids through the chaos that is soccer picture day. (Really, they put up a few tents along the most congested areas of the soccer complex and EVERY single team lined up here, fighting to find their entire teams and hold their places in lines. There was a loose schedule of when pictures were supposed to have happened, but nothing really concrete.) I was sooo glad I brought her along, because the kids were at separate ends of the picture spots and of course, playing on the fields furthest from each other. She helped Jake through the picture pandemonium while I helped Benjamin.

Though the day started out as a  picture perfect hot mess, it seemed like it was going to be a much better day than the previous game day had been. The sun was shining, the temperature was warm and the breeze was just a bit refreshingly cool. I added a few layers to the boys soccer shirts, but I was more worried that they'd be too warm than I was of them being cold and wet as before. I made sure that Ben had plenty to eat before we got to the field, and I brought water bottles along for them both to have on the sideline. I also remembered lawn chairs for me and Justine, as well as a smaller lawn chair for whichever boy wasn't playing. The games today were offset by a half hour or so (which really dwindled down quite a bit due to picture delays) so I was thinking this would be a great game day. It turned out that I was half right about that thought.

Jake headed to the field with his coach and Justine and I headed Ben over to his field, furthest from the picture location. Ben's game was to start first, so we headed over there. Initially, Ben was really excited. He had behaved well for his individual picture to be taken, and then tried his hardest to please the picture nazi who insisted each child have their hands directly on their knees and look completely into the bright sun without squinting. But, I was in for a surprise when we got to the field. Again, Ben refused to go out onto the field. He fired a list of problems and excuses as to why he could not go out and play:

"The sun is making my eyes too squinty."
"The wind is blowing me down and making me too cold."
"I am too hungry."
"I am too thirsty for my water."
"I am too tired. I need to take a nap."
"I need to rest in the van."
"I just need to go home."

With each excuse, he got whinier and whiner until he was blatantly sobbing and crying. The coaches again tried hard to coax him out of my lap. Ben stated that he was too much littler than everyone else and so he couldn't go out. The coaches, (who you may remember have children on Jake's team also) reminded Ben that he does a fantastic job and he can keep up with his brother Jake, who is even BIGGER than the kids on this field. Ben was still not convinced. Being the mother that I am, I pushed Ben off my lap and threw him towards the field, hoping that he would get moving and begin to have fun.

Ben reluctantly headed towards the head coach, who assigned him a spot. Unlike last week, Ben was making and honest effort to do the right thing, but his listening skills were not where they needed to be. Ben lined up where he was told, but then kept following the coach to each other child on the field in an honest attempt to be doing what he was supposed to do. The coach reset Ben to his position and reminded him that he'd need to go after the ball. When the whistle blew, Ben just stood there watching the action unfold. He didn't move this time at all. Finally when the ball went out of bounds, Ben decided he was done and started heading to the bench. The ref must have felt a soft spot for him, because she lined him for the coach and pointed him in the right direction. She told him to run after the ball. Before she could blow the whistle signaling the start of the new play, he was up there kicking it. She looked at the coaches knowingly and allowed Ben to kick the ball, but his coach had tried to intervene (in the interest of not cheating) and so Ben got confused, and sat down and cried. They sub-ed him off of the field and he came back to my lap to sit. He was instantly content on my lap again. I decided there was no chance Ben was going to have fun when he could just be sitting with me, so Justine and I told him good bye, checked out with the coaches and headed over to watch Jake's match already in progress.

obviously enjoying his position

After the long trek over the entire complex all the way to Jake's field, Justine and I located the Wizard navy blue shirts, and found a place to plop our lawn chairs. (I really need to invest in chairs with cases, by the way.) Jake was playing defense, back by the goalie, keeping close to the position he was assigned. (Ryan would've been so proud. This is one of the big lessons he had been working with them on at the prior practice.) Jake was intently watching the action and following the ball with his eyes, and each time it approached he intensely got up to the ball and kicked clear of his goal. The goalie rarely had to even put his hands on the ball, though it should be mentioned that he did cover very well when necessary. (Additionally, the entire team did a nice job staying in their respective positions, and that made a big difference. The Wizards, though not keeping score, certainly dominated the majority of the game play at that point.) When Jake was pulled, he and 2 other children headed towards the sidelines. While the other two children sat down and began picking grass and throwing it at one another, Jake stood up and jumped around while shouting directions right along side the coaches. Many times Jake's head coach would pat his head and smile knowing that Jake was enjoying the game. Soon it was half time for the Wizards, and so I headed back to check on the remainder of Ben's game.

Justine the amazing babysitter and soccer fan!

To my dismay, the coaches informed me that my leaving Ben had not actually helped as I had planned. He hadn't got out of his junior lawn chair a single time since I had left, and he seemed content to sit in the chair throughout the entire game. At that point, I apologized to the coaches for Ben's lack of enthusiasm and against my better judgement, I allowed him to leave his team and come hang out with me to watch Jake play the second half. Ben was elated and enthusiastically waved good bye to his team and skipped the whole way over to Jake's field.

an unenthusiastic Fire teammate

The second half of Jake's game continued much like the first, though the opposing team had picked up some pointers from the Wizards, and began working their positions and answering some of the goals. The game seemed much more evenly matched and both teams (along with their parents and amazing babysitters) had a great time cheering for each teams' well deserved goals. When the game was over, each team showed fantastic sportsmanship when shaking hands. Jake ran to me particularly excited that the Wizards had "played together with teamwork" and "stayed in their assigned positions." He was also very proud to point out that opposing team had never scored a single goal while he was on the field, no doubt partly credited to his intense effort at defense. Jake skipped and jumped all the way back to van, rambling incessantly about how much he loves soccer and how proud he would be to tell his father how he did. We all shared in his enthusiasm, even Benjamin.

interesting way to help the goalie

kicking the ball clear

Jake hanging with the coaches.

At the end of the day, I questioned how two children raised by the same people could possibly have such different results on the field. I would not mind if Ben played and did really poorly, but I have a hard time allowing him to sit and not play. Ryan and I are currently debating if he is simply too young and if he will need to be pulled from the sport all together. While it would seem that Jake is a superstar waiting to happen, it appears the only coaches Ben desires to associate with are named Annie and Clarabelle, and are of the train variety. (Annie and Clarabelle are Thomas the Tank Engine's coaches.) Perhaps Ben is just too young, and will acquire a taste for competition after he is older and understands more. Perhaps they are just fundamentally such different people that Ben will continue to be the supportive sideline act and never want to engage in the show, and that will be fine as well. The real dilemma now is whether or not I can allow Ben to quit a season of soccer. While on the one hand, he never actually asked me to play soccer... on the other I fear it might set a bad example to let him sit out just because he doesn't want to try. I do not want to reinforce the concept that it is okay to quit, but then I don't want him to associate soccer with the negative feelings he has while we are confusing him on the field, either. (Please feel free to leave any insightful advice you might have in my comments somewhere. I think I have changed the settings so that it should be easier to leave comments now.)

So, though at the beginning of the month Jake and Ben's mutual preschool teachers could not overlook the physical similarities between my children, it would seem that the more alike they look, the more differently they behave. And again, my boys are as different as the sun and the moon....

Benjamin Turns 5!!!

Today was a fun day in the Robertson household! It began, as usual, with Jake sneaking into my room to wake Benjamin up, as Benjamin always finds his way into our room during the middle of the night. This morning, Jake sneaked into the bedroom, and whispered to Ben that he should wake up and watch the "Super Mario Bros. Super Show" with him, as a birthday present. (Nice present, though they do this nearly every  morning. I adore Netflix, by the way.) Ben sprung up and headed for the living room. I laid in bed a while longer, waiting for my alarm to go off, but found Ben to be my next wake up call. He wanted to lay back down because he was still tired... Ben began to tell me that he knew for sure he was 5. He felt bigger, after all, and so of course he was five years old now.

Ryan and I laid there and cuddled him for a while, teasing him that I decided I would have his birthday instead, so Ben was still 4 and I was going to be 31... but Ben didn't think that was such a good idea. Next, I tried to convince him that he wasn't good enough this year to turn 5, so instead he'd go back to being 3 years old. He knew he had been a very good boy and that I was teasing. We talked and teased for a long while before really starting the day, and it was a very nice morning.

Ryan took Jake to school, and I began to prepare for the day with Benjamin. I had an ambitious list of things to accomplish on this particular day off, and first on the list was making cupcakes for Benjamin to take to his preschool class to celebrate. Ben had picked out a white cake with sprinkles and a vanilla frosting, only because we wouldn't allow him to get chocolate. (There are so many allergies in school, you're always safer with vanilla.... and really, he's lucky he could take cupcakes. Jake's teacher this year is really strict and I think he will be taking whole wheat crackers and broccoli for his birthday treat...)  We did allow Ben to pick a chocolate cake mix for his birthday cake though. I normally buy the birthday cakes and treats around our house, but I had the day off and in the interest of saving money, I thought this year I would try to create something useful. I am pretty much useless in the kitchen, but I had a box with easy directions, some additional tips from my mother, and Benjamin, who is a self proclaimed "good maker" (as in, 'one who makes' [food]) and so I thought I'd take a stab at it.

After making Ben wash his hands twice, (once for good measure), and locating the fire extinguisher, (because I cook that poorly...) I had him mix the simple ingredients into a bowl and let him use the mixer to beat the ingredients together. He did really well this time, not letting any of the batter spray the wall or the floor. He also didn't lick a single drop at that point. While I cleaned the beaters and things so they would be ready for the next batch of baking, Benjamin placed cupcake liners in each cup of the muffin trays, and then I began to fill them. Once I slipped the muffin trays into the oven, Ben insisted on liking the beaters as all kids do. I worried about him contracting salmonella poisoning from the raw eggs, but carried on anyways because I such a long list of things to do. I turned on the oven light and set the timer, and Ben sat on the floor watching through the oven window patiently as the cupcakes began to take shape. He stood back patiently as I began mixing the cake batter for his birthday cake. Oddly, he was so enthralled with his cupcakes that he didn't think to help me with the cake, which  made for a much quicker cake transaction. Before too long we successfully got the cupcakes fully cooked and out of the oven to cool. Ben was being very impatient to frost them, so I had to usher him out of the kitchen and back to the television for safety.

As we were working on our baking projects, Benjamin received birthday calls from Grandma Goo (which excited him so much he sang the entire version of "the Cat Came Back" to her) and from Grandma Linda, along with a few of our friends.

I resumed onto my baking. I recently found out a former coworker had lost her battle with cancer, so I was making cookies to take up to my Affinity family while Ben was at school. Just as I got the cookies ready to bake, I stepped into the bathroom to clean up the flour mess I had made. While I was in there, Benjamin had made his way back to the kitchen. I came back out to find that Benjamin was quickly devouring a cupcake which had been intended for his classmates. (Not the first time he's done this. He once got into Jake's birthday cake before Jake, even though I had masterfully hid it on top of the refrigerator. He's a sweetheart, but he's certainly my more mischievous boy.) He had made his point though, as obviously the cupcakes were now cool enough frost and prepare for school. So, I made him go clean up, get dressed and ready, and I finished frosting the cupcakes and added colorful rainbow sprinkles. Ryan was kind enough to package the cupcakes up so that I could easily take them into class before he headed to work.

I then took Benjamin to school. I was carrying all the cupcakes in various containers, so Benjamin had to use his "big, strong muscles" to open up doors for me and the like, which was actually a very big help indeed. When we walked into his classroom, his preschool teachers had made him a special birthday crown. The crown was a standard birthday crown, made of special blue construction paper because blue is his favorite color. They were also thoughtful enough to have printed out a picture of a train, a race car, and a gingerbread man along with a few other birthday odds and ends to decorate the crown with. When they placed the crown on his head, Benjamin danced around the room singing and jumping and very excited. (Perhaps the sugar was kicking in???)

While Benjamin was away at school, I sat down and decided to tackle the issue of trying to figure out how on Earth a cake gets decorated. I hate baking, and I had already done way more than my fair share of it for the year in this one day. But, I was optimistic, because I hadn't burned anything, including both the food and the house around it, so.... perhaps I was learning after all. I sat and stared at my cake for a long time. Eventually, I started to frost it. My mother gave me some tips on getting a good smooth frosting look, which worked out really nicely. Next, I decided to make a soccer ball pattern. (I dunno? It was a white round cake and Ben just started soccer... when I asked him originally if he wanted a special cake or a party for his birthday, his only input was, "no, I don't want a party, because I will have to share my cake then.") I carefully used a toothpick to begin tracing hexagonal shapes into the cake. Luckily, I had a lot of black writing frosting left from a project over the winter, and so I used that to fill in the spots on the soccer ball. I was having a difficult time getting precise lines, so I decided to use my left over chocolate chips from my cookies to make outlines. (That actually turned out looking better and tasting yummier, picture seen above.) I was also having trouble figuring out the pattern of random black dots... It turns out, if you actually look at a traditional soccer ball, the white spots are hexagons, but the black spots are actually pentagons, which makes for a unique pattern. It was too late for this on my cake, so I just decided to use the oddly clustered white spots for the writing. I also had a blue frosting writer from the same project I mentioned earlier, and I used that to put Ben's name on the cake, and to put a "5" on it. I then covered the cake carefully and hid it in the microwave, hoping desperately that Benjamin would not find it and devour it before it was the appropriate time.

I picked Jake and Ben up from school and we went to the disc golf shop to take Ryan some cookies. Then, we went home, and Jake and Ben played together while I worked on cooking dinner. (No kidding, I cooked more today than I do in a normal year. I even peeled potatoes! I might not be digging Ryan working after all...) Ryan was kind enough to bring home a rotisserie chicken and we ate dinner as soon as he got home. While we were eating, Benjamin got a call from his Grandma Jan, and we decided to have her call us via Skype so she and my father could sing happy birthday to Ben. Ben blew out his candles, and then opened his presents. I hadn't remembered to buy wrapping paper, and I have only Christmas paper lying around, so Jake had helped me decorate Ben's "wrapping paper" earlier in the week. Ben seemed to love his unique designs. He said, "Jacob! You are the bestest present decorating for a kid EVER!" I think Jake was pleased.

Ben received a few Super Mario Bros. action figures that he had seen on the internet and really wanted. I had bought a similar action figure over the summer, and he played with him (Luigi) so often his head wound up falling right off, so I knew this would be a big hit. I also got him some boxing gloves that can be used to hold the Wii remotes when playing Wii boxing. This idea "struck" me when Ben kept putting his Spongebob slippers on his hands and smacking me in the head repeatedly. Ben seemed to love the presents and he went right to the computer to show off to his Grandma Jan and Grandpa Wayne how good he could put up his dukes.

After eating his ice cream and cake, Jake and Ben went to work trying to use his fabulous new gifts.

I was pretty impressed with how well both boys actually played with the new toys. They are generally not good at pretend playing unless I really help prompt them, but this time, they both seemed eager to play. Jake retrieved Ben's Imaginext castle, and they used that to simulate King Bowser's castle. They lined up characters in various places, and I watched Ben run Luigi all around the house and the castle, while Jake answered him with various other characters. They played well for about and hour, until I finally had to convince them it was bed time.

While tucking Benjamin into bed, I asked him what his favorite part of his birthday had been. He simply said, "I liked being five years old, Mama." He had said this once earlier in the day also, and to quote Jacob, "Good thing! You're going to be 5 years old for 365 more days, so I'm glad you like it."

All in all, I think each of us had a fantastic day celebrating the anniversary of Ben's birth. I can't wait to watch the boys resume playing with the Nintendo themed items tomorrow.

My Dearest Benjamin,

My dearest Benjamin,

When your eyes open tomorrow morning, you will be five years old. I still remember the day you were born. The day started out like most others, I woke up very begrudgingly as I was too uncomfortable to sleep much the night before. I felt a little nauseous, and so I decided that this morning I should stay home. I spent a nice morning with Jacob, until your father took him to daycare. Every ten minutes or so, I started feeling sick again. After calling my doctor, I realized I was probably in the early stages of labor. I was due to deliver you the next day, so the timing seemed very appropriate.

After your daddy dropped your big brother off at his preschool, he and I started walking around the neighborhood blocks, discussing what life would be like with you around. We worried about how Jake would adjust. We worried a bit about how I would handle two kids in the same household, (because after all, I was the only child in two houses growing up, and I couldn't imagine what two in just one would be like.) We discussed the odds and ends of getting the house ready for you to come home, where we had put your car seat and what whether or not we still wanted to name you Benjamin Edward. Mostly though, we just held hands and thought excitedly about how nice it would be to hold a little baby again.

In the early afternoon we decided to head to the hospital, because I had been having contractions all day but nothing was really happening. My doctor, Dr. Reeb-Alba, was waiting there to see us. After checking me out, she decided I should stay in the hospital. She joked that she thought you'd be born around midnight. The nurses laughed and said that you would be born in the morning. But I was impatient, and I thought you would be born that day before I went to bed.  Hours droned on, and eventually, merely hours before you due, I delivered you, the very day I had insisted you would be coming. The nurses were all shocked that you had come to be so soon. Dr. Reeb-Alba wasn't as shocked, but she was concerned you had exited too quickly, because you were too cold. Though the nurses had you half way down the hall and on the way to the nursery, doc had called to them to let me meet you first.

You looked soooo small. I only got to hold you for a brief moment before they took you away. I know that you had a lot of dark black hair, and you were smaller than I had expected. You looked so perfect though. I was so reluctant to allow them to take you, but I knew that you and I both needed some extra help to recover from the delivery. Much later, I got showered and got dressed and came down to meet you. Several hours after you were born they decided to finally weigh you, and at that point you were 6lbs and 9oz. You were a little over 19 inches tall. You had all of your fingers and toes and your head was shaped nicely because you were born so quickly. You looked a lot like I did when I was a baby, with tons of dark hair and a round face.

However, you did not act like me. From the very beginning of your life, you were patient, unlike myself. You were relaxed and chilled, and the nurses would come to me to wake you up to feed you, because you would sleep so long. You were good at nursing immediately. You rarely cried and when you did, it was never insistent. Perhaps you have your father's temperament. Perhaps you are, and always have been wise beyond your years and you know that life is not a race to the finish. You have continued to grow slowly and cautiously, curiously and carefully. You seem to notice each little nuance of life, and you already know how to appreciate the simplest of moments. I hope you realize early in life how big of an asset that ability is. I have spent the last 5 years trying to master what you have inherited so naturally.

Patience is not the only lesson you've taught me. You taught me a most important fact of life; People do not have a specific amount of love to use up, but can create more love by loving at any moment. It was never really a question of whether or not I could love you as much as Jake, but whether my heart would just burst open because it was overflowing the moment we met. You can never use up all your love. The more you use, the more you get, which is a pretty amazing cycle, really. You also have showed me a softer, gentler side to Jake. As much as I loved him, I have only learned to love him more, because now I know he can be a most excellent big brother in addition to being himself. And you were happy and patient when we were stressed and learning to adjust to these lessons. And, you have always been forgiving when I took longer than necessary to realize how perfect life is around us.

You were a perfect baby. You have grown to be such a handsome, sweet young baby boy. I love playing with you. I love how you can make time stand still and you can make me appreciate little things like eye squints and nose puckers and lip smackers. I love how you can laugh at the simplest of jokes. I love how you hug. I love that you love it when I read to you. I even secretly love cuddling you in the middle of the night when you are frightened, and I know I will miss that terribly one day. Sometimes I look at how you've grown and watch you looking thoughtfully at everyday objects I tend to overlook. I wonder what the future has in store for you. I wonder how you could possibly become more wise than you already are, and I am excited to see how you will continue to inspire happiness and kindness in the world around you.

Thank you, Mr. Benjamin, for being such a wonderful son and for teaching me so many valuable lessons.

Happy Birthday!

Love,
Mama

Soakin' Soccer Start

Tada! The day you have all been waiting for has arrived! (Well, maybe not all of you, but the one's who knew Ryan for certain...) Jake and Ben each had their very first soccer games today. The day started early, and this is the first day in a long while that I had to wake the kids up instead of being woke up by the kids. But, they were both eager to get out of bed and get dressed, because they were excited for their soccer games. Ben started the morning with his usual, "I get to play a real soccer game today! This is the greatest day of my life!"

Ryan stepped outside to check the weather, and it was damp and frigid, but it wasn't actually raining at that point. We decided to dress the boys with extra layers anticipating that they would get cold despite their movement across the field. Ryan carefully helped each boy get dressed, adjusting their shin guards, pulling up their long socks and getting their cleats on properly. He also surprised both boys with a team shirt of his own that he got for being an assistant coach, which they both thought was really cool! Ryan seemed cool and confident enough about what was supposed to be happening, but I was terrified. What is a soccer mother supposed to wear these days? Where are my mom jeans? My jeans were low rise and rested on my hips, could that be appropriate? Shouldn't I have signs, or a bull horn, or something?

Once we were all dressed like pros, sans waist high mom pants, we headed off in the van, which has officially earned it's keep as a "soccer" van. We arrived at the local soccer complex. At this point, it started misting, and I was beginning to realize we were in for a long morning. There were tons of kids in various colored shirts all over the place. It was loud and chaotic, but very exciting. We found Jake's field first, and Ryan was the first coach on the scene, so he got the boys warming up together. That was fun for Ben, because he got to play with the big boy team for a bit.

yeah, sorry for the poor quality on this one. It was the best of the 3 of them together though.

Then Ryan pointed me in the correct direction for Ben's field and I took Ben towards his team. Unfortunately, Ben and Jake played at the same time, so Ryan had to stay and coach Jake and I missed all of Jake's game. Meanwhile, I took Ben to his game that Ryan was missing. As I walked away, I got to see Ryan in his first Wizard team huddle. That was all I saw of the Wizard's strategy. According to Ryan's account later though, the huddle may have been the highlight of the field position. Apparently, the Wizards would go on to lose about 6 to nothing, and Ryan was left with several ideas of fundamentals he wants to work on at the next practice. BUT, Jake would relay that he did very well on defense and he enjoyed himself a LOT, and he can't wait to do it again! So, it was a success for sure.

Once we hit Ben's field, Ben got to warm up with his friends for a little bit. His coach talked to me casually, and explained that the league was short on refs today, as most of them were taking their ACTs for college. Therefor, today would be a scrimmage rather than an actual game. He also enlightened me that his oldest son was playing on the 2nd grade Wizards, which just so happened to be Ryan & Jake's team... and suddenly I felt like soccer mom royalty. (Despite the lack of mom jeans and all.) A few of the other soccer mom's rallied around me and talked up their own kiddos as we watched Ben's team huddle.

It was at this point it occurred to me that taking a preschooler, pairing him with several other Kindergartners and 1st graders and preparing them with only 2 practices ever might not make for a great team strategy. I got very anxious at this thought, and worried for Ben's ability to focus and listen long enough to get into the correct field positions. I was reassured that soccer at this age is all about encouraging them to play like good sportsman, helping them get a bit a small handle on the fundamentals of the sport, but most importantly to wear them out running from one end of the field to the other. And, as I feared, there were definitely some hitches... Ben and a few other children decided that playing back field defense meant that they should stand in the goal and dance around each other, and the first goal was scored almost immediately against them without them even noticing any of the commotion. Once the coach got them refocused and pushed them towards the action, Ben was knocked down and cried a bit. (His coach literally just picked him up and ran after the clutterball pack, carrying him as he went. He was awesome. Ben cuddled into him until he was ready to play again, and then he jumped down and ran enthusiastically with the coach's encouragement right back at the pack.) There was also a few issues with the kids not knowing how or where to stand and when to change out players, but nothing that wasn't sweet and entertaining.

But, in between the minor hitches of the first half, some really crazy cute soccer was being played. The boys all got very excited and cheered as each team exchanged goals on one another. They all got a little more involved and ran towards the action. They would fall, but each player got up very quickly and shook it off. I was so excited I was screaming and shouting for them louder than I find myself shouting at derby matches. All in all, it was a great deal of fun!

Fun, until the rain began to fall. The mist turned into a full out downpour, and our little men were left out there very cold and very wet. This is when attitudes started changing. Many of the kids were eager to be changed out and take a break on the side lines. At one point, the coach was bribing and begging the kids to give up the umbrella to get enough people out on the field.

 Ben left the field at the change of the last quarter, and refused to go back. He begged to go home, to eat, to leave, to do just about anything other than sit in the rain. But, he did a fantastic job cheering from the sideline. When his coach would urge him to get back out there and play again because he had done so well, (and there were moments he had done very well, in deed, despite being the smallest squirt out there) Ben would cheer louder and louder for his team. "GO FIRE GO! GO FIRE GO! WE CAN WINNNNNNNNN!" 

After Ben's game concluded, we headed back to towards the van where we met up with Ryan and Jake. They, too were soaked and worn down from the morning. Through out the remainder of the day we discussed the things we hope will happen differently. The boys all have aspirations of things they want to do to play better next time. I am just hoping to remember some of the items I observed were necessary equipment for soccer moms, namely a lawn chair, blanket, umbrella and a hot cocoa.  It turns out the bull horn will not be necessary after all, as I can do a fine job of cheering annoyingly without it!

And, tonight, I tucked the boys into bed without a hitch. This was the first night that I can recall in ages that they both went to bed without protest, didn't beg for more stories to be read, and didn't run out into the living room only to be escorted back to their respective beds. And, this would indicate to me that we did in fact wear the boys out between the running and the shivering... so I believe I can officially say that our first day of soccer was a soaking success!